How did it get like this?

Here it is, another day gone by and I feel that life just keeps going on. I feel a lot of monotony these days. All I do, and all I really want to do, is watch TV and read good books. I recently reread the Fablehaven series and I have now watched so many TV shows that it is borderline insanity. Perhaps that is why I feel like I'm going insane whilst doing nothing. Have you ever felt that you have avoided life so long that you forget how to live? I am sure that I blame the baby for more then its fair share. I am tired and scared and often just overwhelmed but those are things that all moms to be deal with and I am just not coping right. I've found that since the nausea has slowed down I have actually been more anxious, causing me to upset my stomach more than the baby ever did. It doesn't help that I spend all day at home alone with no one to talk to. I need friends. Adam says that I just need to go door to door in the complex and meet people, but if any of you know me you know that I am not about to just walk up to someone and say, "Hey, I met you at church, can I come in and hang out for a while?" Before I got married I always had someone who was able to stop by now and then and just say hi. Even after I got married I had Heather. Now I don't even see my visiting teachers once a month. And when someone does come over I get so excited that I'm sure I scare them off. Matt and Rachel actually have lives and anyone else I know lives in Delaware or Chili. If we had the money I'd go see a counselor once a week. I've actually started talking to the TV. Or the toilet. Depends.

So enough of my ramblings. Adam is coping with the stress of being the only one in the updates department because one guy left for a wedding and the other just had a baby. But at least we had a fun weekend. We went and saw the Lion King in Salt Lake. It was very good. I just love the puppetry. Not to mention the amazing music.

It almost seems that there is so much to write about that I can't even begin while at the same time there is nothing worth writing about. I guess this will do for now. See ya.